Make your own free website on

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Writing and Poetry
.. .... ..
February 6, 2010 - Saturday 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Writing and Poetry
.. .... ..

Sophia L'Amour

The dead are calling me,
I feel their presence, they are free.
Free from the pain, free from the cross,
free from existence, free from loss.

We can join them, we can be there.
Without the pain, without the despair.
No irreversible path must be took,
the love of life never forsook.

The depths of time are deep indeed,
spirits and demons yearning to be free.
Will you let them out, will you set them free ?
Or will you wall yourself up, a black brother be.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam



February 4, 2010 - Thursday 

Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry



I am writing prose at the moment, perhaps I will wax poetic later.  I feel the need to post for all those on the path of self-initiation.  There is an important difference, despite who you may have made contact with, discovered that you are, etc... Some deep truths hinted at in writing, but not readily expressible in language, are very important.  Like how does one crawl out of a deep hole ?  This should be obvious, one simply stands up and reaches for a hand above.  Can one be deluded from constant struggle to get out of the hole that one has made it out of the hole ?  Are there "Demons dreaming, knowing that I, I just needed to re-align" (quote from Godsmack there).  Could it be so simple ?  A ritual that I used to practice regurlarly, but fell out of daily use after becoming steeped in Tantra and Liber 25, Liber 36, etc ... ?  Why yes, it could.  Israel Regardie's recording of the Middle Pillar Ritual or something of the like might indeed be the key.  The key just needs to be cleaned with brasso and it might become a light in the darkness.  The darkness you thought was already dispelled.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam.


January 26, 2010 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  aroused
Category: Writing and Poetry


.. .... ..

I've got love for sale, but you must pay in blood.
The blood is the life, everything else is crud.
The end is near, the end is far,
it all depends on your choice of star.

Is the price too great, is the end too far ?
You must choose the correct car.
Some cars will clog up with gunk,
some will steal all your funk.

I've got what you need, what you crave.
But your blood you must not save.
It is the price you will pay,
only blood will save the day.

93 93/93


January 23, 2010 - Saturday 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

The ghosts of the past are coming to call,
their lust for revenge is their all in all.
The planks are a creaking, the sun has gone away,
the gulls are asleep, the shadows they will stay.

I must light a fire, I must stand my ground.
I must cast a circle, and find a final round.
I call out aloud, Do What Thou Wilt,
I know it's for the ghosts, for them that cannot wilt.

They are trapped in my mind, they want to be free.
They want to be a changing, but they cannot see.
I cannot let them go, I cannot walk alone,
I cannot say cannot, I can't be made of stone.

The seasons they must change, for if they do not,
the weather grows stagnant and stale, the fates cast not their lot.
So I walk into the fire, and change into smoke,
I transform into the one, the one that cannot choke.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam


December 16, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  adventurous

Oh my, I'm all alone.
Alone again, but free.
I cannot complain, as I am happy,
I am free as can be.

The end is near,
but what care I ?
The end is near,
but I can fly !

93 93/93


December 8, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  amorous
Category: Writing and Poetry

I'm wandering through the savage garden,
the garden wherin I shouldn't be,
the garden of delights they call it,
eat and drink but always unto me.

The fruit is sticky sweet, and dripping with honey dew,
I think I will wander about, stick around for an hour or two.
It is a lie, that one must die, to see this paradise of fire.
To touch the fruits, to satiate, every dark and black desire..

The night is lovely dark and deep,
I once heard somebody say.
I think that this darkness I will keep,
the admission price I have paid.

My soul is free, my love for sale,
at a bargain price, if you can stand the gale.
Come sail with me, upon the sea,
to Tyr Na Noog, the island free.

93 93/93
Bruce (the morning star)


December 1, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  eccentric
Category: Writing and Poetry

That was another place,
that was another me.
My hair was longer,
I was a bit more free.

But I was restrained,
by my wants and desires.
Now I have escaped,
from the fires of desire.

Some call it Moksha,
some the final liberation.
An escape they say,
the final libation.

But my mistress you see,
is all the stars.
The infinate spaces,
the black expances far.

T he dark is the light,
the light is the lie.
Why would I go back,
that would be to die.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam


November 29, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Writing and Poetry

The darkness is descending,
is it quarter 'of nine ?
I accept it with open arms,
I have seen the sign.

The mark of one who is,
not so judgemental, and is free.
Freedom is a crime you know,
so cries the rightous with glee.

But I reject those self rightous fools,
those who can't read their own book.
Not with understanding sublime,
they don't even really look.

I dance with those of the wind and fire,
in circles round the pole.
Who is my sire ?
Is their any hope for my soul ?

Is there any hope for hope ?
Is the sun a man ?
Am I to accept an idol,
or am I to make a stand ?

Idols come in many forms.
Emotion is the only key.
Don't swallow the lie,
The Emotion will set you free.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam.


November 20, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Writing and Poetry
Bon jour all,


The world is calling,
I'm not alone.
I have lost,
But I have found.
The world has used the spirit phone.

I am called to action,
I will respond.  I will not lie,
alone in the dark.
I will not fry,
I will not sigh.

The woods are lovely dark and deep,
and I have promisis to keep.
Promisis made to the moon and stars,
promisis made to gods afar,
the edge is near I must leap.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam.


November 19, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  hot
Category: Writing and Poetry

Oh, I shouldn't say,
that Hell is here today,
The brimstone fumes,
the traffic moves.

The veil is lifted,
the smoke it burns.
I cannot breathe,
I must learn.

Perhaps I should die ?
Then breathing would not be,
quite so needed,
and necesary you see.

Ah but the pain,
brings me back.
From my dark,
dark and lonely track.

Someone once said,
Hell ain't a bad place to be.
I should dance in the flames,
with abandon and glee.

93 93/93
Frater Balaam

March 19, 2010 - Friday 

Current mood:  evil
Category: Writing and Poetry
.. .... ..
The End

93, tout la nuit

The dark is coming, nay it is here.
The demon reborn, immaculate conception.
Can you see ? Do you care ? Do you fear ?
Can you stare into your reflection ?

Black mirrors are your undoing,
they reflect the other side.
There is a wake of fear in my going,
fear not, in the dark you can confide.

The prophetess, she is not here.
She has fled the scene, exit curtain left.
She could not restrain me, too much fear.
Without him, nothing is left.

93, 93/93
Frater Balaam, Orias ?

An IVxviii Sol 29° Cancer, Luna 11° Saggitarius Dies Mercurii Wednesday July 21, 2010 e.v. 09:51:27 pm
Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law
Having experienced the short term energies of my re-arrangement of my practice of Liber Resh I will continue, using the god form of Set Fighting tonight. Upon being introduced to another web site with occult texts in PDF form on the From Darkness Comes Light Yahoo group, , I found it to have a good collection of Frater Achad's works. I began to re-read Liber 31 and came across the comment that one cannot escape from one's mottos. My most recent motto being Balaam, I calculated it's value using Hebrew Gematria to be 704, taking the first a in the name to be Ayin, and the folowing a's to be Alephs. 704 by the Sepheroth ha-D'Borim gives words with the meanings "A basin, bowl, vessel (Ex. 24:6)", "To judge, rule", "Before; the East; ancient things", "Walk, journey, THE Path". These associations seem particularly relevant. I will continue to meditate on these meanings, perhaps approach Irthel via Spare's method of repeating a name until it becomes meaning less looking for illumination tonight.
Love is the Law, Love under Will

Back to Tzum